


chasing the sun

by suraj



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, M/M, Pining, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-06-23 20:59:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19709332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suraj/pseuds/suraj
Summary: He isn’t sure when it started, isn’t quite sure when he started seeing his best friend differently. It was as if one day something in the back of his brain switched on and when Yuta laughed, bright and familiar, his heart began to beat differently.orjaehyun is balancing being in love with his best friend and being spiderman and somehow, being spiderman is easier.





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> this ship doesnt have much going on in the tag and i really wanted to write a yujae fic since id been talking about them on my twt for a while so heres my contribution to this iconic ship. i decided to post it in two parts so the second part should be up within the week!
> 
> hehe dont even ask whats going on its literally just some good old fashioned pining for your best friend while trying to hide your secret identity from said best friend lol.

Jaehyun can’t _believe_ his luck.

Really, it’s comical how terrible his morning is going. It started off with him stepping on one of Yuta’s stupid little anime figurines on his way to the bathroom – the Kakashi one that Yuta kisses every morning for good luck – and led to him finding nothing but one, singular, stale bagel in their pantry and ended with him getting soap in his eye and nearly breaking his hip in the shower. He wriggles on his jeans, his free hand poorly glueing on the last few bits and pieces onto the poster board of his economics presentation, his stomach grumbling lowly and Jaehyun fights the urge to just collapse on the floor in a pathetic heap. Instead, he manages to clothe himself, snatching his backpack off his bed and sends a few mental curses to Yuta, who was supposed to do the grocery shopping, as he slips out the door.

Jaehyun supposes he could have predicted that something would manage to happen to make his morning even worse as he scrambles down the street, the poster board for his economics presentation – which he's already running late for, though that can be blamed on New York’s morning traffic – slipping through his sweaty hands.

He halts in his tracks all of a sudden when he feels the hairs on the back of his neck rise, his mind immediately tuning in to the air of danger that surrounds the area.

His gaze lands upon the scene that’s occurring across the street at Bank of New York, the blare of sirens and police cars surrounding the entrance of the bank. As he crosses the street, goosebumps begin to form on his arms with every step he takes towards the danger. There’s a small crowd that has formed behind the yellow police tape and Jaehyun slips through the throngs of people, pausing only when his torso hits the tape. He trains his gaze on the large, open windows of the bank, and even with his heightened senses, he is only able to see several masked figures and some people on the ground, though he can clearly hear the sharp demands from one of the masked figures to the bank teller. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that the bank is being robbed and Jaehyun shifts his gaze away and bites his lip, his eyes flickering to his watch, his brow furrowing.

Jaehyun considers his next move: he could turn around and continue to run to class so he doesn’t fail his economics course and be slightly late, _or,_ he could stop the bank robbery that’s currently occurring right in front of him and then run to class for his presentation, and be very, _very_ late.

With a groan, Jaehyun realizes he already knows what he’s going to do as he jogs down the street, ducking into the nearest alley, shedding his backpack and clothes in a haphazard pile behind the dumpster. Jaehyun gives his poster board – which really only could’ve gotten him a B- grade at best – one last look before he wedges it behind the dumpster along with his stuff, pulling his mask over his head.

The tights of his costume are already beginning to feel uncomfortable, riding up slightly with every movement, so Jaehyun sighs, aiming his web-shooters towards the building across from the alley, letting the webbing stick to the bricks before he lets himself be pulled up, the cold morning air rippling around him.

—

By the time Jaehyun manages to trudge to his apartment, exhaustion has begun settling in his bones. He’d been able to intervene the bank robbery before anyone got hurt, using his webbing to trap the masked figures, though not before one of them managed to land a solid punch to his face. He hadn’t noticed it then, though he can feel the slight sting now with every clench of his jaw, and he’s sure a bruise has already begin to blossom there. He was late to his presentation, too, late enough that he had to all but beg the professor to let him present next week so he could at least manage a passing grade.

Jaehyun sighs, poster board in hand as he fumbles with his keys. They slip from his grasp and fall with a metallic jingle to the ground and Jaehyun forces himself to take a deep breath, calming himself down before he bends down to pick them up. He’s already on the verge of a breakdown, a low, simmering frustration coursing through his veins and yet, when he opens the door to shitty trap music and the strong smell of something cooking, all of that dies in his throat.

He drops his bag and poster board by the door, the noise causing Yuta, his roommate and best friend to turn around, wooden spoon in hand.

“Hey, Jaehyun!” Yuta chirps and when Jaehyun draws closer, Yuta frowns.

He puts down the wooden spoon, his hand reaching up to brush against the bruise on Jaehyun’s jaw, his frown deepening. Jaehyun flinches at the contact, his heartbeat quickening slightly at Yuta’s cool, gentle touch, and Yuta retracts his hand immediately.

“That’s a big bruise, dude, did you get mugged?” Yuta asks, turning back to his simmering pot with a scoff.

Jaehyun collapses on their shitty sofa, the one they found outside the physics lab on campus and Yuta had insisted they take – “it’s a perfectly good sofa just sitting there, Jae,” he said, which led to Jaehyun having his toes nearly crushed several times since Yuta couldn’t decide on a place to put it – and he sighs again.

“I tripped and fell.” He replies flatly.

Jaehyun tips his head back just in time to catch the pack of frozen corn that Yuta throws at him. He presses it to the side of his face, exhaling gratefully as the coldness from the frozen corn soothes his bruise.

“Lame.” Yuta says.

Jaehyun is about to open his mouth to defend himself but Yuta appears again, holding two steaming bowls of stew. He puts them down on the coffee table, flopping down beside Jaehyun, folding his legs beneath himself.

Jaehyun takes the bowl in his hands, letting Yuta press himself closer as he eats, idly scrolling his phone, oblivious to the way Jaehyun’s heart is already threatening to beat out of his chest.

He isn’t sure when it started, isn’t quite sure when he started seeing his best friend differently. It was as if one day something in the back of his brain switched on and when Yuta laughed, bright and familiar, his heart began to beat differently. It feels like he’s known Yuta forever, though it hasn’t even been more than 3 years since they met and only a year since Yuta had waved his phone in Jaehyun’s face, causing Jaehyun to squint at the ad for a one bedroom studio apartment in Queens.

It was easy to convince himself that it was just a crush he developed on the closest person to him since it had been too long since he had gotten laid, though it’s been nearly six months since then and the way Yuta smiles brilliantly, the way he runs a hand through his startlingly red hair still manages to make his throat constrict impossibly tight like it did six months ago.

“Did you hear about the robbery at the Bank of New York?” Yuta asks, his eyes still trained on his phone, “wild.”

Jaehyun nods slowly, taking a liberal slurp of his stew.

Technically, he was there, but Yuta doesn’t need to know that.

“Wish I wasn’t stuck in lecture,” Yuta grumbles, “I could’ve ran there in time to get a few pictures of that Spider-Dork.” Yuta sighs dramatically.

Ever since Yuta started working at Culture Printing, a small, weekly newspaper, he had become obsessed with getting pictures of Spider-Man in action. The newspaper offers bonuses for good, high quality pictures of Spider-Man and well, Yuta is drowning in student loan debt and about as broke as they come and though it isn’t much, it is still money.

“He’s called Spider- _Man_ ,” Jaehyun corrects with a huff and Yuta pushes his head off of Jaehyun’s shoulder, sitting up face to face with him.

He raises an eyebrow, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were the president of the Spider-Dork fanclub, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes, “I’m not, but I can appreciate him doing good for the city, Yuta.”

Yuta waves a hand in the air, “yeah, yeah, whatever. I wish he would do his good for the city in front of my camera.”

Jaehyun tilts his head, squinting when rays of light hit his eyes from the large, open window in the living room. The sun is beginning to set, blinding rays of light blanketing their living room in warmth. He’s about to speak but Yuta jumps up, nearly knocking his bowl of stew off of the table.

“Don’t move.” He mumbles and disappears into their room before Jaehyun can protest.

He’s back within seconds, his camera hanging off of his wrist as he carefully sits back down beside Jaehyun. There are several moments of silence followed by the quiet whirring of the camera turning on and really, anyone else would feel awkward about the Yuta’s gaze is carefully raking over Jaehyun’s face, analyzing the way the sunlight falls, but he’s been through the process enough to not feel uncomfortable.

Still, Jaehyun feels his ears heat up slightly as Yuta hooks two fingers beneath his chin, tilting it up before he lifts the camera to his face, snapping a few pictures.

Yuta’s passion for photography meant that wherever he went, his camera was not far behind. And though Yuta mostly focuses on photographing inanimate objects, every once in a while, Jaehyun found himself on the other side of the lens as Yuta’s subject. 

“Come look,” Yuta says, letting Jaehyun shift closer so he can see the pictures Yuta took.

They’re nice pictures, mostly because of the way Yuta angled his face so that the beams of pale, yellow sunlight cast shadows beneath his cheekbones and collarbones. Jaehyun knows he’s good looking, at least handsomer than average, but the pictures make him look slightly better, softer. He supposes it isn’t his own features as much as it is Yuta’s eye for angles and his talent with his camera.

“You should really find someone better to model for you.” Jaehyun laughs lightly.

Yuta doesn’t laugh, his face scrunching up, nose wrinkling when a small frown forms on his face.

“Why?” Yuta shrugs, “you’re perfect.”

And the rational part of Jaehyun’s brain reminds him that Yuta doesn’t mean it in the way Jaehyun wants it to mean – though, he isn’t even sure _what_ he wants it to mean – and so he laughs again, a little more awkward than before, wrapping one arm around his best friend’s shoulder.

His heart thuds rapidly in his chest.

—

It happens like this:

They’ve been living together for nearly four months and are still learning their way around each other. Being friends with someone is one thing, but having them in your space, 24/7, is another. There are habits that Jaehyun lets go of – like staying up late to study because he knows the light from his lamp makes it hard for Yuta to sleep – and some that he learns, like getting up at 9 in the morning on the weekend to go for a jog with Yuta.

“It’s good for your heart!” Yuta says cheerfully, already bouncing on his feet in one spot as he warms up.

Jaehyun doesn’t need it, not since he was first bitten by a radioactive spider nearly a year ago, but he groans anyway, jogging lazily behind Yuta even though he could easily outrun his friend. And besides, it’s amusing to watch Yuta sprint past him with a shit eating grin, as if Jaehyun couldn’t leave him in the dust if he wanted to.

Sometimes Yuta forgets to buy the groceries, which means Jaehyun pretty much starves in the mornings but when he does, he manages to pick up Jaehyun’s special, whole wheat, gluten-free bagels and that, he supposes, is enough to make him forgive Yuta. Sometimes Jaehyun ends up taking too long in the bathroom, which means Yuta knocks annoyingly on the door until he tiptoes out of the shower to let Yuta in so he can use the toilet. 

And sometimes, Yuta forgets to do his laundry, wrapping his hand around Jaehyun’s arm when he sees Jaehyun holding a laundry basket of clothes – “please, Jaehyunnie,” he says, using the nickname he only reserves for when he wants something, fluttering his lashes dramatically so that Jaehyun sighs deeply and uses his other arm to take Yuta’s laundry basket with him down to the basement where the machines are.

It’s only been four months but they have figured out something that resembles a routine. Yuta avoids their room when Jaehyun is writing essays on the economic decline of the toothpaste industry, and Jaehyun lets Yuta maneuver him into different poses and places so he can take more photos for his online portfolio. It isn’t perfect, but it works. And for four months, everything is good.

It’s nearly midnight on Friday and Jaehyun is stretched out on his bed, laptop balancing precariously in his lap, his essay half written. It’s raining hard outside and occasionally, the deep rumble of thunder echoes through the room, followed by a bright, flashing crackle of lightning. Jaehyun pushes his glasses further up the bridge of his nose as he considers wandering out into the middle of the road and praying that a bolt of lightning strikes him and kills him before his essay does, when the door creaks open.

Jaehyun blinks when Yuta pokes his head through, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. His face looks relatively calm but when a particularly loud crash of thunder vibrates through the room, Jaehyun doesn’t miss the way he flinches violently.

“Are you headed to sleep?” Yuta asks quietly.

Jaehyun really isn’t. It’s late and his essay is nowhere near complete but Yuta squeezes his eyes shut when lightning flashes, illuminating the small room in bright light, and the sight makes his heart clench and he nods slowly, shutting his laptop, taking off his glasses and setting them on the side table.

At first, Jaehyun thinks that Yuta just wants to go to sleep but instead of heading to his own bed, Yuta pauses at the edge of Jaehyun’s.

“Do you mind?” He asks, and it’s hesitant and soft, unlike the way Jaehyun has ever heard Yuta speak.

He shakes his head, lifting the corner of his comforter up. Yuta relaxes a little, his shoulders sagging just slightly as he crawls beneath the comforter, immediately latching himself onto Jaehyun’s side.

Personal space has never been a thing for Yuta and Jaehyun doesn’t really mind when Yuta curls himself around Jaehyun when they’re binge watching movies or when Yuta all but collapses on Jaehyun when he comes home drunk, fingertips lazily tracing the veins on Jaehyun’s forearm as Jaehyun tries to peel himself away to grab a glass of water for his friend. But somehow, this time, it feels different. The bed is small and isn’t really meant to hold two, fully grown guys on it, which leads to Yuta half draping himself over Jaehyun, his arm thrown loosely over Jaehyun’s chest. Yuta’s sock clad foot brushes against Jaehyun’s knee, his one leg sitting at a ninety degree angle over Jaehyun’s torso, his head lolling in the crook of Jaehyun’s arm. Yuta smells familiar, of his cologne and the faintest hint of warm vanilla and Jaehyun feels dizzy.

It shouldn’t feel different; they’ve been in positions like this before but somehow, Jaehyun’s mind blanks at the feeling of Yuta’s body against his. Another particularly loud, booming clap of thunder echoes through the room and Yuta wriggles even closer, his body heat seeping into Jaehyun’s skin from how close they are, his scent blanketing Jaehyun’s senses. Something sharp and abrupt, though not unpleasant, twists inside his stomach.

“Don’t like thunderstorms,” Yuta admits, his voice muffled where his face is buried in Jaehyun’s t-shirt.

“Don’t worry, you big baby, I’m here.” He means for the words to be light and teasing but somehow, they catch in his throat and come out raspy, more serious than he intends for them to.

Yuta cranes his neck, his unwavering gaze catching Jaehyun’s. He’s so close now, so close that Jaehyun can see the small mole on his nose, can see the way strands of soft brown hair fall into his open, honest eyes. His heart slams into his stomach.

“Thanks.” Yuta mumbles, and he returns to his previous position, his arm tightening just barely around Jaehyun’s hip.

In that moment, Jaehyun thinks that somehow, Yuta has gotten even more handsomer and more beautiful than he remembers him being. He thinks that he isn’t particularly fond of the smell of vanilla, but somehow, it suits Yuta. He thinks that Yuta fits perfectly in the circle of his arms, his slender body attached at the hip to Jaehyun’s, as if he is meant to be there.

And suddenly, his mind begins to piece together what’s happening, begins to understand why his heart has suddenly turned to mush and why he’s thinking about Yuta like this in the first place.

Jaehyun feels his throat constrict.

He thinks, _oh, fuck_.

—

It’s Friday, which is pretty much the only day Ten has his bad ideas and Jaehyun finds himself wedged between Sicheng and Johnny in a small, cramped booth of the Lilac Sky. The club isn’t all that special but it’s close to the university campus, and even though Jaehyun and Yuta don’t live there anymore, some of their other friends do, which makes the Lilac Sky the perfect place to get drunk with each other for cheap and make shitty decisions.

It’s past midnight and Jaehyun sips his warm beer – it’s gross but he paid for it and he’ll be damned if he lets it go to waste – leaning in closer to listen to Sicheng ramble on about mathematical theories. It’s getting harder and harder to hear what he’s saying over the loud, heavy thump of the music that vibrates around them so Sicheng ducks his head so he can speak right in Jaehyun’s ear.

If he’s being honest, it isn’t even that interesting, but Yuta disappeared half an hour ago, fingers intertwined with Ten’s as they headed towards the dance floor and Jaehyun’s edging towards sheer boredom so he decides to let Sicheng talk his ear off about the development of classical mathematics, taking an occasional sip of his beer.

It’s only when Johnny’s elbow knocks harshly against his arm and Jaehyun’s beer bottle tumbles from his hands, spilling warm beer over Jaehyun’s lap, that he decides he’s had enough. He glances back only to see a tipsy Taeyong trying to wedge himself in between the table and Johnny’s lap, their lips clumsily attached. Jaehyun groans at the feeling of the beer soaking through his jeans and he stands.

“You guys are gross,” he whines, “go home.”

Taeyong gives him the finger in response, not bothering to pull his mouth away from Johnny’s and Jaehyun quickly adverts his gaze before he has the unfortunate luck of having to witness Taeyong shoving his tongue down Johnny’s throat.

“Excuse me,” he mumbles apologetically as he slides past Sicheng, stumbling out of the confines of the booth.

Jaehyun scans the club floor in hopes of spotting the bathroom, the bright, blinding colours from the overhead LED lights causing him to squint. His eyes land on the dance floor to where Ten is dancing with someone Jaehyun doesn’t quite recognize. Jaehyun stops at the bar first, snatching a few napkins off the counter, dabbing at the dampness at the front of his jeans before he slips through the throngs of people on the floor, frowning when he realizes that the music is even louder here, vibrating through his feet. Jaehyun finds Ten quickly, tapping his shoulder lightly to get his attention. From up close, Jaehyun recognizes the man Ten’s dancing with; a second year economics major named Kun.

“Where’s Yuta?” He asks with a frown.

Ten barely glances up from where he’s dancing with Kun – Jaehyun wouldn’t consider it dancing as much as he would consider it Ten openly groping Kun’s ass in the middle of the dance floor – brow furrowing slightly.

“Went to dance with someone, don’t know who.” He slurs, tipping his head back just barely to let Kun nuzzle his neck.

Jaehyun fights the urge to roll his eyes; his friends really are the grossest.

“Okay,” Jaehyun says and then, “are you gonna be okay?”

Ten giggles and nods, peeling himself away from Kun for a moment to throw himself in Jaehyun’s arms. He stumbles back slightly, stabilizing his friend by holding him steady in his arms.

“Don’t wait for me,” Ten raises his voice so he can be heard over the loud, blaring music, “I’m going home with Kun.”

Jaehyun raises an eyebrow, “you sure you’ll be okay?”

Ten nods again, leaning in closer, “I’m good, can you make sure Yuta is, too? I haven’t seen him in a while.”

Jaehyun frowns, wrinkling his nose at the strong smell of alcohol that rolls off of Ten in waves and nods.

“Okay, have fun, dude.”

Ten stumbles forward, intending to reach Jaehyun’s cheek but he misses the mark, planting a rather wet, open mouthed kiss to Jaehyun’s neck. With a sigh, Jaehyun lets Kun wrap his arms around Ten, pulling him close so that Jaehyun can escape his friend’s embrace.

He turns away from them, but not before grasping Kun’s shoulder, murmuring, “take good care of him, yeah? Make sure he doesn’t drink anymore,” into Kun’s ear. 

Kun nods at that, “will do,” he replies, an easy smile making its way onto his face.

He looks a lot more sober than Ten so Jaehyun feels okay about leaving them together in order to find Yuta.

He takes a couple steps forward into where the crowd of dancing bodies is thicker, scanning the area for Yuta. It doesn’t take Jaehyun long to find him; even in the dim, shitty lighting of the club, it’s easy to spot a head of bright red hair. Jaehyun only manages to take a few steps in Yuta’s direction before he stops abruptly, eyes trained on Yuta. He’s dancing with someone, a tall, dark haired man that Jaehyun doesn’t recognize.

The small, rational part of Jaehyun’s brain reminds him that he shouldn’t care that Yuta is dancing with someone, but the way the man’s hands are wrapped around Yuta’s waist, Yuta’s arms thrown loosely around the man’s neck, makes something ugly curl in the pit of Jaehyun’s stomach. They’re swaying way too slow to be able to keep up with the beat of the music and Yuta smiles prettily up at the man, his hips canting forward just barely. And when Yuta rocks up on the tips of his toes, his mouth pressing against the man’s, Jaehyun tears his gaze away.

A cloud of hazy, green jealousy settles over Jaehyun’s heart and he feels his ears burn with embarrassment.

What had he expected when they came to the club? Yuta is handsome with a dazzling smile and kind, honest eyes and Jaehyun knows it’s unfair of him to expect Yuta not to go home with someone, especially since he’s single and it really has been too long since either of them got laid. Yuta is his friend, his best friend, and even if wants to be the one Yuta is dancing with, wants to be the one Yuta smiles at like _that,_ it doesn’t mean anything. Even if he loves Yuta, loves him in the way that makes his mind spin when Yuta is near him and his chest ache when he isn’t, it doesn’t mean anything. He knows all of this and still, hurt begins to seep out of the small crack on his heart, spilling into his chest and Jaehyun blinks back the flurry of jealousy and hurt and possessiveness that have crawled into his ribcage, forcing a smile onto his face as he makes his way back to his friends.


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg this ended up getting longer than i intended so many apologies for adding a third chapter!  
> hope you guys enjoy it the next update might take longer to upload!

Jaehyun spends the better part of his weekend patrolling the city.

Being Spider-Man and being gifted with the abilities he has puts an unbearable burden on his shoulders and yet, it feels easier to carry around than the heavy, crushing weight in his chest that stems from his love for Yuta. It’s easy to let his mind focus on being Spider-Man and forget about Yuta and the man he undoubtedly went home with. It’s easy to be Spider-Man and not Jung Jaehyun, the pathetic university student in love with his best friend.

Most of his morning is occupied by little things such as thugs trying to mug people in alleys or idiots trying to steal cars on the side of the road. Only when he’s scarfing down his cold cut sandwich around three in the afternoon, legs dangling off of where he’s sitting on the ledge of the fire escape of a building, does his police scanner hum to life, crackling with news of an armoured car hijacking. Jaehyun frowns, swallowing his bite as he listens carefully for the coordinates. Once he knows which street the armoured car is on, Jaehyun sighs, pulling his mask down to cover his face, aiming his web shooter at the building opposite to him, letting himself be flung through the air towards his destination.

He locates the armoured car quickly, easily keeping pace with it, swinging parallel to it as he tries to analyze the situation. The car has already been hijacked from what Jaehyun can tell, squinting slightly to see that the man in the driver's seat is definitely not the original driver, if his gun is any indication. Several police cars follow close behind the armoured car, sirens blaring as they speed closer to it. 

One gains enough speed to drive right beside the armoured car, but the hijacker begins to shoot towards it and abruptly, the police car swerves towards the sidewalk. Jaehyun aims his web shooters towards the police car, letting the webbing stick before he pulls the police car back, grunting softly from the strain of keeping the police car from crashing into the sidewalk.

Once he’s sure the police car won’t crash, Jaehyun swings through the air rapidly, trying to catch back up with the armoured car. Once he’s close enough, Jaehyun jumps, landing clumsily on the roof of the armoured car. He pauses for a moment as he regains his balance before he climbs down the side of the car, using the door handle as foot support, the wind rippling harshly around him.

Lucky for him, the hijacker doesn’t even realize Jaehyun’s right by the open car window until Jaehyun swings inside.

“Hey, over here, bad guy!” Jaehyun waves cheerfully and the hijacker whips around, fumbling for his gun.

Before he can do anything, Jaehyun aims his web shooters at the hijacker’s mouth and his hands, the gun tumbling from his hand. The car skids dangerously and Jaehyun uses one hand to steer the wheel back into a straight position, his other arm pulling back to create some force before he punches the hijacker in the face. The man goes limp instantly, slumping over the wheel. His body blocks the wheel and the car steers hazardously towards the sidewalk again and Jaehyun frowns, pushing the hijacker’s unconscious form back as he tries to regain control of the wheel. He manages to use one hand to keep the steering wheel steady, his other arm taking the brunt of the hijacker’s weight as he tries to shift him over to the passenger seat. It doesn’t work; the space is too small for Jaehyun to be able to control the wheel and push the hijacker’s body over to the other seat so Jaehyun inhales sharply, reaching over the hijacker to open the driver’s side door, thrusting one arm out to push the hijacker out of the car.

The hijacker lands on the side of the road with a dull thump and Jaehyun can’t really find it in himself to care; the man is a criminal and really, Jaehyun has more pressing things to worry about right now. With the driver’s seat free, Jaehyun stumbles into it, both hands gripping the wheel tightly. He intends to stop the car so the police can take over but when Jaehyun presses his foot on the brake, he realizes with a sinking feeling in his chest that the car isn’t slowing down.

Jaehyun groans, pressing down on the brake several more times before he accepts the fact that the car still won’t stop. _Of course_ this would happen to him, of course the brakes would fail right now at this very moment, piling another problem onto his already massive mountain of problems. Jaehyun blinks, forcing himself to calm down for a few seconds so he can regain control of the situation. Once he’s thought it through, he realizes it really isn’t a problem if he can find an alley with a dead end to steer the armoured car into and luckily, the road is even so the car doesn’t gain any more speed.

Unluckily, the second Jaehyun thinks that the road is even and that everything might be okay, the road begins to dip slightly and the armoured car begins to gain speed. 

The situation becomes infinitely worse when Jaehyun spots rows of orange cones littering the road and he realizes that the road ends in a construction site.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” Jaehyun grumbles to himself, frantically scanning the entire road for a place to safely crash the armoured car.

There is a small crowd of people gathered there but when they see that the car isn’t going to stop, they scatter out of the way. 

All except one.

Immediately, Jaehyun’s heart jumps to his throat and he can physically feel the colour begin to drain from his face. There’s a man standing dead in the middle of the construction site. His camera is blocking his face but Jaehyun would recognize that familiar, fiery red head of hair anywhere.

And suddenly, all thoughts of the armoured car and the failed brakes – anything that isn’t related to the fact that Yuta is standing right there in the middle of the construction sight, clueless to the danger that’s approaching him – evaporate from Jaehyun’s mind. The armoured car is dangerously close now and Jaehyun’s mind races, begging Yuta to jump out of the way of impending danger while he still can. But he doesn’t, his camera flash flickering as he takes photos and there’s a split second in which Jaehyun realizes that Yuta is definitely getting mowed down by this armoured car and so, before he can, Jaehyun steers the car sharply onto its side, the force from which it turns causing it to tip slightly towards Yuta as he jumps through the open window on the passenger side, web shooters aimed at Yuta’s chest. 

If Jaehyun had waited even one more second, Yuta would most definitely have died from his own stupidity, but instead, Jaehyun pulls Yuta into his arms using the webbing, the other web shooter aimed towards the side of the nearest building, flinging them both into the air.

Beneath them, the screech of the armoured car tipping over completely, the metal grinding harshly against the concrete, is unmissable.

The webbing has Yuta attached to Jaehyun by the chest to Jaehyun’s left web shooter but still, Jaehyun doesn’t miss the way he yelps shakily, his arms wrapped in an almost painful chokehold around Jaehyun’s neck, one leg scrabbling up Jaehyun’s hip as he attempts to keep himself from falling. The heel of his shoe digs painfully into Jaehyun’s thigh.

“You won’t fall, relax,” Jaehyun shifts his tone to something deeper and rougher, hoping Yuta won’t recognize it over the rippling wind that buffets around them.

“Holy fucking shit.” Yuta whispers, tightening his hold around Jaehyun’s neck, “holy motherfucking shit.”

Jaehyun glances down to where Yuta is latched onto him, head buried in the crook of Jaehyun’s neck, mumbling the words ‘holy’ and ‘fucking’ and ‘shit’ repeatedly into it. Even through the fabric of his suit, Jaehyun can feel Yuta’s breaths coming erratically against his neck. It would almost be distracting to Jaehyun but it’s hard to focus on it when all he can feel is Yuta’s camera digging into his ribs and the way his arms are choking the life out of Jaehyun.

Once they are several blocks away from the crash, Jaehyun aims his web shooter down towards the fire escape of the building where he was eating his sandwich before everything went to shit. Only when their feet touch the metal steps of the fire escape, does Yuta finally snap out of his haze, his dazed expression morphing into one of confusion and realization.

Jaehyun watches, slightly amused, as Yuta tries to pull away from where the webbing on his chest still has him attached to Jaehyun’s left web shooter.

“Let me go, you Spider-Twink.” Yuta grumbles, planting both hands on Jaehyun’s chest and pushing, trying to force the webbing to tear.

Jaehyun blanches beneath his mask at the name, unable to stop himself from rolling his eyes. Leave it to Yuta to be a complete and utter dumbass even after almost dying ten minutes ago.

Yuta’s attempts to detach himself from the webbing are futile and finally, after watching him struggle for several more moments, Jaehyun aims the web shooter towards him, pressing the small button located on the band of the shooter, releasing the webbing that’s connecting Yuta to him.

The initial adrenaline of the entire situation has worn off and all Jaehyun can focus on ache in his neck that’s developed from having Yuta’s arms wrapped in a deathly tight hold around it and the soreness in his thigh from where his foot was digging into it.

“That was very dangerous.” Jaehyun says, eyes drifting to where Yuta is picking at the webbing on his shirt with a frown.

“Tell that to my dangerously low bank account,” Yuta snorts and lifts the camera to his face.

Jaehyun watches as he flicks through the shots he took, which Jaehyun can only assume are not good enough, judging by Yuta’s deepening frown.

“It’s not worth it to risk your life just to get some pictures.” Jaehyun replies, leaning back against the railing.

Yuta looks up from his camera and says, with a teasing tone, “I guess I was lucky you were there, huh, Spidey?”

Yuta is smiling, as if he didn’t almost get crushed by an armoured car ten minutes ago, but Jaehyun doesn’t find it amusing, especially since it had been such a close call and he’d barely managed to make it to Yuta in time. And though he can’t voice it to Yuta right now, just the thought of anything bad happening to his best friend sends a low, unpleasant wave of anxiety through Jaehyun’s chest.

Jaehyun reaches up to adjust his mask a little and then sighs, “alright, you want a picture of me so badly? Then go ahead, take it.”

Yuta’s eyes widen slightly but he doesn’t object as Jaehyun aims his web shooter up towards the set of steps above them, letting the webbing stick before he swings up in the air lazily.

Yuta gets the idea and quickly aims his camera towards Jaehyun, snapping several shots of him in the air. After several seconds, Jaehyun lowers himself back down to where Yuta is.

“There,” he says, “now you have some pictures. Just don’t put yourself in danger like that again, okay?” Despite his best efforts to keep his voice hard and cold and unfamiliar, Jaehyun feels it become softer, unable to help it when he looks into Yuta’s eyes.

Yuta nods hesitantly, “yeah, okay.”

And then, he smiles again, and it’s sweeter and gentler, the corners of his eyes crinkling in the most endearing way. Jaehyun feels his heart stutter.

“Thanks, man, you know,” Yuta shrugs, “for saving my life and all.”

Yuta laughs lightly, “I can’t wait to tell my best friend about this, poor guy might cream his pants when I tell him I met Spider-Man.”

Jaehyun feels his eye twitch beneath the mask and he fights back the words of defence that bubble inside his throat.

Instead, he clears his throat, “right, well, we should probably get back down onto the ground.”

Before Yuta can reply, Jaehyun hooks one arm around his waist, using his other arm to shoot webbing out towards the building across from them, swinging them both into the open space, Yuta’s shaky cries echoing through the air.

True to his word, Yuta barges in the door twenty minutes later – Jaehyun had left him several blocks away from where they lived, giving himself just enough time to swing through their bedroom window, strip out of his suit and into sweatpants and a t-shirt, and unceremoniously shove his suit under his bed – rambling about Spider-Man.

“Dude, it was fucking amazing.” Yuta says after he’s finished recounting the entire ordeal, collapsing onto the sofa.

Jaehyun frowns deeply, “Yuta, that wasn’t safe at all, you could’ve died.”

It’s a grim thought to think, but Jaehyun was _there_ and he vividly recalls how close the entire situation was to ending really badly.

And just like he had before, Yuta shrugs, “I’m okay, Jaehyun, Spider-Man saved me.”

Before Jaehyun can speak again, Yuta wraps a loose hand around Jaehyun’s wrist, tugging him down to sit on the sofa next to him.

“Wanna see the pictures?” He asks excitedly.

Jaehyun sighs, mouth pressed into a tight line. He nods.

The next ten minutes are spent huddled over Yuta’s camera, deciding which shots are the best to take to the printing company Yuta works at.

“These are the coolest ones,” Yuta says, flicking through four photographs he took of Spider-Man on the fire escape, “I could get like, 200 dollars for these!”

He does indeed manage to sell the four photographs for 250 dollars a week later, proudly waving the cash in Jaehyun’s face when he gets home from work.

—

The thing about Yuta that Jaehyun has come to learn over the years is that despite his party loving personality, Yuta really can’t handle his liquor. That doesn’t stop Yuta from throwing back alcohol like it’s water, even if it leads to him landing in an ungraceful heap in front of the toilet, puking his guts out. And more often than not, Jaehyun finds himself close by, painkillers and a glass of water in hand. Drunk Yuta, Jaehyun knows, is the bane of his existence. He’s giggly and touchy, his cheeks flush, his hands almost always occupied on stroking the hair of whichever unlucky soul happens to be next to him, his mouth stretched into a wide smile. He’s unabashed in his affection, draping himself over Johnny’s lap, clumsy hands loosely pinching Taeyong’s cheeks. But he’s also, as Ten so eloquently puts, a bit of a whore.

The Yuta Drink Ban, as Taeyong likes to call it, was created the day after Sicheng’s 21st birthday party, when Yuta took one too many tequila shots and attempted to give a shocked and tipsy Sicheng a lap dance in the middle of the club. Since then, despite Yuta’s pouting and whining, Jaehyun’s had the unfortunate luck of chaperoning his alcohol intake, firmly refusing to let Yuta order another drink unless he can recite Zabuza’s monologue from Naruto without slurring. Only when they’re drinking at home – and Yuta is unable to lose his dignity in front of the general public – is he allowed to drink freely.

Jaehyun is four beers into their 24 pack, and Yuta is in only three, but is considerably more buzzed than Jaehyun – drunk enough to start becoming affectionate but not drunk enough to pull any of his horny antics – index finger idly tracing the rim of his beer can. Jaehyun follows the movements lazily, licking his lips absently before he tips his own beer can back, finishing it off. His increased stamina and healing makes it difficult to stay tipsy for long, but he can’t really bring himself to mind, since he isn’t much of a drinker anyway.

They’re both sprawled on lawn chairs on the roof of their apartment building, legs stretched out in front of them. Coming up to the roof and drinking themselves stupid – really, Jaehyun could just consider it Yuta drinking himself stupid and Jaehyun making sure he doesn’t give himself alcohol poisoning – has become a tradition now. It began sometime in the past six months, though the exact situation slips his mind. All he remembers is he didn’t pass his accounting final and on his way home, he picked up a 24 pack of cheap beer, which Yuta and him managed to drink through in the span of one night. Now, when one of them slips through the door holding a 24 pack of beer, the frown on his face evident, the other doesn’t say anything and they both make their way up to the roof. Today, it was Yuta who came home with a glassy sheen of hurt in his eyes, his mouth pressed together tightly. Jaehyun didn’t ask what happened – Yuta would tell him eventually – and followed his friend up to the roof. It’s been an hour since they’ve been lounging on the roof, and the sun is beginning to set but Yuta still hasn’t spoken up. Just as Jaehyun cracks open his fifth can, Yuta opens his mouth, as if he’s about to speak.

He doesn’t, though, only turning to train his gaze on the horizon. Jaehyun does, too, sipping his beer as they watch the sun blanket them in warm and hazy yellows and oranges before it sinks beneath the horizon. He doesn’t dare let himself look at Yuta right now, since he can already imagine the soft, awed look on his face as he watches the sunset, the lovely, sharp planes of his face bathed in silky, warm light.

Ten more minutes pass in silence, the only noise being them occasionally taking a sip of their beers. The sun has set completely now, leaving behind a dark blue sky streaked with purple.

“S’cold.” Yuta says finally, sighing deeply.

Jaehyun turns to look at him, but Yuta doesn’t meet his gaze, only throwing the remnants of his beer back. Jaehyun tears his gaze away from the vivid movement of Yuta’s Adam’s Apple, training his eyes on his own can. The wind has begun to pick up slightly and the lack of sunlight becomes painfully evident as an evening chill settles around them.

Jaehyun glances back to see Yuta sit up, pulling his knees to his chest, the goosebumps on his bare arms evident. He’s wearing nothing but a thin, worn t-shirt and a pair of ratty sweatpants and before Jaehyun can stop himself, he pulls off his own warm hoodie, holding it out to Yuta.

Yuta raises an eyebrow but Jaehyun only extends his arm further and Yuta takes it, standing up so he can slowly pull it over his head. The hoodie is large on Jaehyun, he bought it to be oversized and comfortable and when Yuta’s face peeks out of the hood, Jaehyun feels like he might just die on the spot. Yuta looks pretty much like the embodiment of Jaehyun’s dreams, the hem of the hoodie sitting at his upper thighs, the tips of his fingers peeking out just barely from the cuffs of the sleeves and when Yuta falls back against the lawn chair, pulling the neck hole of the hoodie over his face, inhaling slowly, Jaehyun feels his knees turn to jelly.

“You’re such a gentleman,” Yuta murmurs, burying his face even deeper into the fabric of the hoodie, “smells like you, Jaehyunnie.”

Jaehyun feels his throat constrict from what can only be his soul has ascending from his body and he’s pretty sure he’s lost any and all ability to form a coherent thought so all that leaves his mouth is a strangled and dumb, “thanks.”

There’s a moment of silence between them before Yuta stands up again, stumbling several steps forward towards Jaehyun. Instinctively, Jaehyun wriggles to one side, making space for Yuta to crawl onto the chair beside him. He does, shifting around for several seconds to make himself comfortable as he throws one arm over Jaehyun’s waist, the other reaching back awkwardly for Jaehyun’s abandoned beer can. Yuta takes a long gulp before he puts the can down.

“You’re so pretty, Jaehyunnie,” Yuta breathes, one cold hand rising to Jaehyun’s cheek, his thumb absently pressing down into the dip of where Jaehyun’s dimple is.

Jaehyun feels his stomach lurch.

“You’re drunk, Yuta,” he finds himself saying, clearing his throat.

Yuta hums against his chest, playing absently with the strings on his hoodie. Several more moments pass by them filled with silence. And then, Yuta speaks again.

“You would never abandon me, right?” His words are slurred and slow but the hurt behind them is unmissable.

Jaehyun frowns, “no, Yuta, I wouldn’t.”

He’s about to ask what happened but Yuta beats him to it.

“The guy I’ve was seeing broke up with me.”

This, Jaehyun thinks, is definitely new.

Something Jaehyun can only call sheer and utter jealousy and hurt simmer low inside his veins. Yuta was seeing someone? How had he not known? Jaehyun’s mind races for several seconds before he reigns himself in, remembering Yuta’s words. They broke up.

“He said I didn’t share the same life goals as him.” Yuta continues, and his words are hard, laced with bitterness, “said that I didn’t take my future seriously.”

This time, Jaehyun feels a different type of hurt, a thick, protective cloud of anger that covers his heart on Yuta’s behalf.

Jaehyun’s throat feels dry, “how long were you together?” He asks, his voice raspy when he speaks.

Yuta looks up, jutting his chin out just barely. When he exhales, Jaehyun can smell the beer on his breath. His eyes glisten, glassy from intoxication and narrow from sadness.

“Few months,” Yuta mumbles, “his name is Doyoung.”

And suddenly, Jaehyun begins to put it together. The guy at the club, the dark haired one with fine features, the one Yuta was dancing with. It had to have been Doyoung since Jaehyun doubts Yuta would so openly kiss a stranger. Anger flares inside Jaehyun’s chest at the hurt that swims in Yuta’s eyes. Jaehyun wraps his arms tighter around his friend.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about him.” Yuta whispers, his hand clenching the fabric of Jaehyun’s t-shirt over his chest.

Jaehyun is hurt, hurt that Yuta didn’t think to tell him about someone he was seeing. And sure, Jaehyun isn’t entitled to know everything about Yuta, but it still stings, considering they’re best friends and roommates. Briefly, Jaehyun’s mind wanders to how many times Yuta must have brought Doyoung home when Jaehyun wasn’t there. The thought causes something ugly to curl in the pit of Jaehyun’s stomach.

He doesn’t say any of that, though; Yuta is obviously hurt, considering he came home with a 24 pack, and he could have continued to keep quiet about Doyoung, but he didn’t. He chose to tell Jaehyun and that is enough to drain the last few drops of self-pity inside his veins.

“It’s okay, dude, I’m not mad.” He mumbles into the crown of Yuta’s head.

Hesitantly, he lets one hand drift to Yuta’s hair, carding through the soft strands gently.

“And that guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about, Yuta, he’s a dick. You are a hard worker and just because you don’t share the same goals, doesn’t mean that you aren’t taking your future seriously, ” Jaehyun says firmly, “he didn’t deserve you.”

Yuta shrugs, “maybe,” he replies and tilts his head back up to look at Jaehyun, “It hurts a little, but I’m glad we broke up.” Yuta says and his eyes, drooping with exhaustion, crinkle as he smiles. 

It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but it makes Jaehyun’s chest flutter just the same. Yuta yawns, curling closer to Jaehyun and his next words are muffled in Jaehyun’s chest, but he hears them clearly.

“My heart has belonged to someone else for a long time now.” 

Jaehyun isn’t drunk, he isn’t even close to being tipsy, but he feels dizzy, like he might throw up. Yuta is in love with someone and Jaehyun feels as if someone the rug has been pulled out from beneath his feet. His ears ring and his throat feels tight and suddenly, the way they’re entangled on the lawn chair and the way Yuta’s so close that his heartbeat thrums against Jaehyun’s own, erratically thumping heart, feels wrong.

He’s falling, the air pressure around him increasing, his limbs fumbling to find stability.

He squeezes his eyes shut and when he opens them, everything looks the same. The moon is opaque in the sky, pale and white, and Yuta is warm, slowly drifting to sleep in Jaehyun’s arms.

He doesn’t know how long he sits there with Yuta asleep in his arms, but vaguely, he can feel his body move on autopilot. He picks Yuta up, slinging one of Yuta’s arms over his neck, supporting Yuta’s weight in his arms as he clambers down the two flights of stairs to their apartment. Jaehyun manages to put Yuta down on his bed without waking him before he mechanically undresses himself, slowly climbing in beneath his own sheets.

 _My heart,_ Yuta had said, _belongs to someone._ It isn’t a crush, it isn’t something that will pass, no, Jaehyun thinks, Yuta is in _love_ with someone.

Around him, the world continues to turn unbeknownst to the splintering of Jaehyun’s heart.


	3. three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> umfdbhdjkskndc im SO sorry i know this shit jsut WONT end but i cant help but split it up rip .

Life, unaware of Jaehyun’s complete and utter miserableness, goes on.

“Hello? Earth to Jaehyun?”

Jaehyun snaps out of his haze to Johnny waving a hand in front of his face.

“What’s up?” He replies glumly.

Johnny sighs deeply, closing his laptop before he leans back in his chair, carefully arranging his hands in his lap. He raises an eyebrow.

“Clearly something is going on with you, dude, we only have ten slides in our Powerpoint and we’ve been here for two hours.” Johnny states.

It’s just past five and they’ve been holed up in a small corner of the university library, trying fruitlessly to finish up their finance presentation – which Jaehyun isn’t embarrassed to admit they’ve put off until the day before their presentation.

“What’s wrong?” Johnny asks with a frown.

Jaehyun knows exactly what is wrong. 

His knows that his best friend, whom he’s completely and utterly in love with, is in love with someone else. He knows that small, pathetic part of his heart had held out a weak sliver of hope that one day, Yuta might reciprocate his feelings, and now even that is gone. He knows that he’s definitely going to die alone, in his sleep and in his room in Yuta’s house – which he lives in because Yuta is too nice to abandon his sad, lonely best friend, even after he gets married to the love of his life. 

“Don’t overexert yourself thinking so hard, Jae, we all know your brain cells can’t handle that much stress.” Johnny snorts, once again snapping Jaehyun out of his thoughts.

Jaehyun offers a withering glare in response.

When he doesn’t speak, Johnny reaches across the table, finger jabbing harshly into the meat of Jaehyun’s bicep. Jaehyun yanks his arm away, wincing at the dull pain.

“What?” He snaps in irritation, rubbing over the sore spot.

Johnny pouts, “what’s wrong?” He repeats.

Jaehyun doesn’t say anything for a moment, letting the silence hang above them in a thick cloud. Finally he sighs, slumping down further in his seat.

“Do you know,” he hesitates, “do you know if Yuta is…” he trails off, gesturing vaguely in the air.

Johnny raises an eyebrow, “If Yuta is what?”

“If Yuta is, uh,” Jaehyun rubs a sweaty palm over his jeans clad thigh, “seeing someone.”

At that, Johnny’s eyebrow seems to rise even higher.

“Wouldn’t you know? Aren’t you his best friend?”

The words cause Jaehyun’s heart to sink further into his chest. He groans. Johnny softens, quickly shuffling into the seat beside Jaehyun, one hand rising to pet Jaehyun’s head. Jaehyun lets him, too miserable to pull away of Johnny’s touch.

“Dude, what’s going on?”

 _Fuck it,_ he thinks.

He takes a deep breath.

“Yuta told me that he’s in love with someone!” He blurts, a little too loudly for their current environment.

A girl across from their table looks up with a tired, irritated glare, raising a finger to her mouth in a shushing motion. Jaehyun slumps back into his chair, ears warm.

“Okay…” Johnny says slowly, “what exactly is the problem?”

He shrugs, eyes drifting to his laptop screen, unconsciously taking his lower lip between his teeth. Silence fills the space between them and Jaehyun doesn’t dare look up to Johnny’s inquisitive eyes.

Finally, Johnny gasps dramatically and Jaehyun wishes the Earth would open up and swallow him whole so he can save himself the humiliation of someone finding out about his crush. The Earth doesn’t bend to his will, unfortunately, and when he looks up, Johnny is pointing his index finger at him, his other hand covering his mouth theatrically.

“ _You’re_ in love with Yuta!”

Jaehyun nods miserably.

Johnny’s expression morphs from one of surprise to confusion, brows furrowed.

“That’s wild, dude,” Johnny murmurs, “I mean, Taeyong always said there was something there but I never believed him,” Johnny smiles a little, “I should’ve known, though, my man’s intuition is always on point.”

Jaehyun’s about to interject with a snide comment about how flowers don’t grow out of Taeyong’s ass so there’s no point in Johnny being up there all the time but Johnny stills, brows knitting together tightly.

“Huh,” he says, tilting his head back slightly.

Jaehyun’s stomach drops, he reaches over, tugging Johnny’s sweater sleeve, “what?” He asks nervously.

“If you’re in love with Yuta, and Yuta’s in love with someone…” Johnny trails off, pursing his lips.

Jaehyun nods impatiently, “yeah, so?”

Johnny stares at him blankly and Jaehyun slides back into his seat.

“Have you considered the fact that maybe Yuta’s in love with _you_?”

The thing is, Johnny is hilarious. In fact, Jaehyun would consider Johnny one of the funniest people he knows, with his clever smile and even cleverer way of making side remarks and jokes about any situation, the result almost always being Jaehyun keeling over in laughter.

And the words that leave Johnny’s mouth are hilarious, downright fucking hysterical, but Johnny’s mouth is pulled into a soft frown, forehead creasing just barely, and Jaehyun can’t help but laugh, the nervous kind, not the fun, lighthearted kind.

“That’s impossible!” He laughs again, a little more awkward than before and this time, Johnny just looks at him with barely concealed pity.

It curls uneasily in the pit of his stomach.

“Yuta is…” he gestures with no aim, “ _Yuta!_ ”

Johnny isn’t bothering to hide the sympathy on his face, it rolls off of him in waves, prickling Jaehyun’s skin.

“He’s not in love with me.” Jaehyun insists in an attempt to end the discussion, but the words come out sullen, hopeless.

Johnny’s eyes carefully scan his face before his frown stretches into a half smile.

“Whatever, dude,” he shrugs, returning to his own seat.

“You wanna take care of the graphs?” Johnny asks, cracking his knuckles, “you know I’m shit that those.”

Johnny opens his laptop, busying himself with his work and the conversation ends there. Jaehyun’s eyes skim over his own laptop screen, his fingers typing away on the keyboard, his face neutral, even if it feels like his chest has cracked open, his inner feelings exposed to his best friend, leaving him vulnerable and anxious.

—

He tries not to think about Johnny’s words, tries not to let them colour the way he sees Yuta. But it’s hard not to let his mind wander every time Yuta nuzzles his cheek to Jaehyun’s shoulder, trying to catch his attention when he’s playing Fortnite on the TV. Or when Yuta’s in the kitchen, humming some 90s song, and he calls over to Jaehyun to come try the pasta he’s making, pausing carefully to blow on the food delicately before he forks it into Jaehyun’s mouth. He wonders, briefly, as Yuta watches him with expectant eyes, face breaking into a relieved, proud smile when Jaehyun swallows the food and gives him a thumbs up, if this is Yuta’s way of affection.

If this is Yuta’s way of loving.

But just as quick as they came, the thoughts vacate his mind, leaving it swirling with the remnants of his own heartbreak.

A part of him has never even considered the fact that Yuta might reciprocate his feelings, mostly because he has never stopped to do so. The thought seems far fetched, one of those impossible facts of life, like winning the lottery, a wonderful dream with very little likeliness of coming true. And for the longest time, Jaehyun’s sure Yuta loving him back is one of those impossible facts of life. Until he isn’t.

The day Yuta turns Jaehyun’s entire life upside down is a cold one.

The rain has finally stopped by the time Jaehyun trudges up to their apartment, hauling his economics presentation poster board – which he’d barely managed to scrape a B grade on – up behind him. It’s still cold outside, though, the wind is blowing forcefully, and Jaehyun is shivering, goosebumps forming on his arms as he reaches the apartment door. The apartment is warm, the gentle, honeyed scent of vanilla candles swirling in the air, soothing Jaehyun’s irritation instantly.

“Hey, Jaehyun, you home?” Yuta’s voice becomes clearer as he comes down the hallway, his smile bright when he spots Jaehyun by the door.

He’s wearing a large, cream coloured turtleneck sweater, his fingers working quickly to fold the sleeves up to his arms, and normally, that would be enough to send Jaehyun’s poor, weak heart into overdrive, but today, he can’t focus on that.

His eyes travel farther up, away from Yuta’s smile and flushed cheeks and towards his head. Jaehyun feels his throat constrict.

Yuta’s hair, previously a sharp, fiery red, is dyed black, silky, ebony strands falling into his eyes, accentuated by the honey warmth of his skin.

“You...” he swallows, finding his voice, “your hair.”

Yuta hums, absently twirling a strand between his fingers, flashing a hopeful, crooked smile, “do you like it? I figured it was time for a change.”

Jaehyun steps closer, unable to resist the urge to run a few fingers through it, marvelling at the way Yuta’s hair is still unbelievably soft.

“Yeah, I do.” Jaehyun replies, his voice raspy.

He clears his throat.

Yuta beams, his smile growing, and it feels as if someone has tipped the sun over, letting its light flare from the curve of Yuta’s pretty mouth. The sun, Jaehyun thinks dreamily, should envy Yuta’s smile.

He drops his hand, “it looks great, Yuta,” he says sincerely, and then, “you look beautiful.”

The words leave his mouth before he can stop them and Jaehyun’s mind blanks, wisps of regret forming inside his throat. But then, Yuta wrinkles his nose, his eyes crinkling, cheeks colouring a lovely pink, and he smiles and Jaehyun breathes out a sigh of relief.

“Thanks, Jaehyun,” Yuta says, stepping away from Jaehyun in favour of disappearing into the kitchen.

The moment ends like that, as quickly and fleetingly as it came.

Jaehyun trails after Yuta, hoisting himself up on the counter as Yuta spoons out rice into two bowls, pulling out the frying pan when he’s done. Jaehyun watches as Yuta cracks two eggs into the pan, turning to Jaehyun once he’s satisfied that they’re sizzling away.

“Yukhei is having a party.” Yuta says, one hand absently carding through his hair.

Jaehyun fights the itch to touch it again.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, dude, you should come.” Yuta hums, his attention momentarily back on the pan as he flips the eggs.

Jaehyun shakes his head, “I’m good,” he replies, “I have a lot of shit to do for school.”

It’s not a lie, he really does have a paper he really needs to write but Jaehyun has never been one for parties. Close gatherings with his friends is one thing, but parties, big, loud, boozy house parties, is another. They’re uncomfortable and require too much social interaction for Jaehyun’s taste. _A hermit,_ Ten called him, his tone loving as he placed another shot in Jaehyun’s hand, _you’re like a hermit, Jae._

Yuta shrugs, “okay,” he says, carefully placing an egg on each rice bowl.

He pulls out some ketchup and hot sauce, drizzling some on each bowl.

“I think Yukhei likes me,” Yuta says offhandedly, like they’re talking about the weather, handing Jaehyun one of the bowls, “also, I’m sorry that dinner is kind of shitty, I forgot to go grocery shopping.” He says sheepishly.

Normally, Jaehyun wouldn’t miss the opportunity to chew Yuta out for his irresponsibility, but all he can focus on is the first part of his sentence.

“Yukhei likes you?” Jaehyun asks, reaching into the drawer under him, pulling out two pairs of chopsticks.

Yuta hands Jaehyun his bowl of food, pushing himself up onto the counter as well. He’s close, his thigh pressed against Jaehyun’s so that he can feel every movement of Yuta’s body. Yuta smells good, of the residual smell of vanilla from the candles and coconut shampoo. Jaehyun’s heartbeat increases automatically.

“I don’t know, man, he’s always inviting me places and trying to hang out,” Yuta pauses, snatching his bowl from Jaehyun’s hands, taking a bite of his food before he continues, “like the party tonight. He didn’t even invite anyone else that we know.”

Jaehyun tries not to look anything other than curious, though he can’t help but bite his lip when he asks, “do _you_ like him?”

Yuta turns, his face suddenly too close, and Jaehyun fights the urge to jerk away.

“No,” he replies simply, tilting his head slightly, “he’s like a brother to me.”

_Oh._

Jaehyun isn’t quite sure how to feel about that. On one hand, a part of his heart feels nothing but relief over the fact that Yuta doesn’t like Yukhei, but another, much bigger and more insistent part of his heart wonders that if Yuta considers Yukhei, tall, handsome, _charming_ Yukhei, as a brother, then what exactly does he consider Jaehyun?

His mouth opens on his own accord and before he can stop himself, Jaehyun finds himself speaking.

“Like me?”

Yuta’s chopsticks falter for a second, his gaze trained on his bowl. Jaehyun’s heart begins to race, his ears growing hotter and hotter as the seconds pass and Yuta doesn’t reply.

Silence falls between them for what feels like a long, suffocating century.

And then, Yuta glances up, his dark eyes meeting Jaehyun’s, a small, playful smile forming on his lips.

He shakes his head, “no,” he says, and all Jaehyun can concentrate on is the curve of his lips when he smiles, the prominence of his cupid’s bow, “not like you, Jaehyun.”

His heart thumps wildly in his chest. Briefly, he wonders if Yuta can hear it, but Yuta doesn’t seem to notice as he jumps off the counter, stretching briefly before putting his half eaten rice into the fridge.

“I’m going to go get ready.” He states, leaving Jaehyun alone in the kitchen, chopsticks dangling dangerously from his fingers.

It isn’t clear to him how long he sits there, picking at his food until it goes cold.

Johnny’s words, a little too good to be true, ring in the back of his mind, creating microscopic seeds of hope inside his heart. The prospect of Yuta returning his feelings had seemed so far away before, _an impossible fact of life,_ he thinks faintly. But now, with one lovely, lopsided smile and a single sentence, it doesn’t seem all that far anymore.

The rest of his evening passes in a daze, his head clouded with Yuta and his dark new hair and the way he has Jaehyun wrapped around his finger with several, barely implicating words. He manages to change into loose sweats and a worn out hoodie, pulling mindlessly at the strings as he sprawls on his bed while Yuta gets ready in the bathroom. Yuta demands his attention when he’s finished, interrupting Jaehyuns dazed thoughts to flash his outfit, a plain, loose white shirt tucked into skin tight, black skinny jeans, a bare amount of dark, silvery shadow smudged around his eyes, pretty, pink lips stretched into a wide smile that glimmers because of the swipe of clear lip gloss across them. What really catches his attention is the collar, no more than an inch thick, covered in crystals, glimmering on Yuta’s slender neck. It’s rare that Yuta puts this much effort into his appearance considering his usual look would fall under the ragged, homeless category, and even though Jaehyun’s lovesick heart considers Yuta the most beautiful, ethereal being on Earth, nay, the _universe,_ it really does something to his Yuta crazed brain seeing Yuta looking like the physical emodiment of sex.

Jaehyun files that image away, that image of Yuta looking like complete and utter debauchery, and tries not to think about how much _wants_ Yuta, tries not to think about how lovely Yuta would look on his knees like this, his ebony hair ruined from being pulled, full, glossy lips stretched around Jaehyun’s dick. Jaehyun wonders if his eyeshadow would run, staining his flushed cheeks silver as he gags, fresh tears pooling in the corners of his doe eyes, wonders if Yuta would let him pull on the collar until he chokes and the thought becomes overwhelming, burning his throat with want, a low, hot arousal curling in his gut.

He fights the urge to corner Yuta against the wall and have his way with him right now and here and instead, nods weakly when Yuta repeats his question – which Jaehyun wasn’t listening to because he was too busy mindfucking Yuta’s brains out.

“Is this too much?”

“No!” Jaehyun says instantly, a little too eager.

He backtracks, forcing himself to calm down, “it’s not too much, Yuta, you look perfect.” He says honestly.

Yuta tilts his head a little, tucking one hand into his back pocket immediately, his demeanour shifting, shuffling his sock clad feet slightly. He looks more endearing than anything else, now, and Jaehyun finds himself wanting to tuck Yuta into bed and curl up beside him. It’s strange, the internal push and pull Yuta puts his heart through with a mere shift in attitude.

“You think so?” He asks hesitantly.

Jaehyun nods, his voice firm when he speaks, “yeah, I am.”

Yuta smiles a little, something soft and gentle and then leans down, carefully tucking a strand of hair that Jaehyun hadn’t noticed was obstructing his eyes. Yuta’s close, the familiar scent of his cologne overpowering Jaehyun’s senses, the silver shadow smeared across his eyes glinting. The collar glints in the artificial light of their room.

He sucks in a sharp breath.

“You should be careful, Jaehyunnie,” Yuta murmurs, his fingertips lingering against the skin behind Jaehyun’s ear for a beat too long before he pulls away, “compliments like that might make a guy fall in love with you.”

And just like that, Yuta shifts away completely, saying a quick goodbye and promise to be home soon to deaf ears before he disappears. Jaehyun hears the door of the apartment click shut, only when he’s sure that he’s alone does he let himself exhale shakily, heat crawling up the column of his throat, burning at the tips of his ears.

 _Fuck,_ he thinks, heart hammering against his ribcage, _fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck._


	4. four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhh i had such a good time writing this au, truly one of my all time ships and im so glad i got the chance to contribute to their growing ficdom! thanks for everyone who supported this fic and encouraging me to continue this au!

It’s hard to pay attention to what Johnny’s talking about but Jaehyun forces himself to jump out of his thoughts and back into the world. He catches the last few words of Johnny’s sentence, something along the lines of ‘club’ and ‘dance’ and he raises an eyebrow.

Johnny sighs impatiently, “dude, pay attention!”

Jaehyun considers looking apologetic for not keeping up but then he remembers that Johnny and Taeyong dragged him to the coffee shop against his will—thereby interrupting his afternoon plans of collapsing face first into his bed and letting sleep take him for the next couple of hours—so he shrugs, taking a sip of his iced latte.

“I said that we’re going to the club this Friday so don’t make any plans.” Johnny repeats.

It’s been a month or so since they last went clubbing but Jaehyun remembers it well, unfortunately. He thinks back to Yuta and his curved, tipsy smile and the way he and Doyoung were latched onto each other on the dance floor. Jaehyun remembers the way Yuta had tipped his chin back and let Doyoung kiss him, can almost imagine the way Yuta’s arms would’ve felt around Doyoung’s neck—he, himself is no stranger to that familiar feeling, after all.

He shakes his head.

Beside Johnny, Taeyong pouts, furrowing his brows.

“Why?” He asks and Jaehyun wills himself not to fall into the trap that is Taeyong’s lethal doe eyed pout.

Jaehyun shrugs again, “I got essays and shit.”

Johnny wrinkles his nose, “essays and shit?” He repeats.

Jaehyun nods.

Taeyong opens his mouth to speak again but Johnny quiets him with a gentle hand on the shoulder.

“Whatever, babe, if he wants to wallow in self-pity because of Yuta, then let him.”

Taeyong bites his lip, clearly unwilling to let go of the topic. After a few moments, he nods slowly and Jaehyun can’t help but feel relieved. He knows Johnny, completely unable to keep a single secret from his boyfriend, told Taeyong about the day in the library and that Taeyong is dying to confront him about his feelings and emotions in typical Taeyong fashion as soon as he can.

The opportunity has passed now and Jaehyun is grateful for it.

The past few days have been unkind to Jaehyun, ever since Yuta had said a few clever words and smiled prettily in Jaehyun’s direction before leaving for Yukhei’s party, leaving Jaehyun with thunderclouds in his mind, grey and heavy, swirling with confusion and hope. He’s resigned himself to the fact that he might be overthinking that entire interaction, considering Yuta hasn’t done anything else to make Jaehyun think that he might share Jaehyun’s feelings.

Johnny elbows Taeyong gently, tilting his head slightly in the direction of the coffee shop entrance, “speak of the devil,” he snickers and Taeyong looks up, eyes widening slightly.

Jaehyun doesn’t have to look up to know who it is, trying to keep his face calm as Yuta drops in the empty seat next to him. He prays Taeyong can keep his cool in front of Yuta, sending his friend a warning glare for good measure.

 _It’s just Yuta,_ he reminds himself, _just Yuta._

Yuta throws him a soft smile, snatching Jaehyun’s drink from his hands, taking a sip before he wrinkles his nose and returns it with a shake of his head.

“Would it kill you to ask for some sugar in this?” Yuta asks with a pout.

Jaehyun’s heart slams into his stomach. He’s aware of the way Johnny and Taeyong have their gazes trained on Jaehyun in a very unsubtle way as they watch but he can’t find it in himself to care.

“Order your own.” He murmurs.

Yuta’s pout grows deeper, “it’s rude not to share, Jeffery,” he says, but the way the corners of his mouth twitch up slightly give away his smile.

Yuta lets his smile grow, taking his bottom lip between his teeth as he reaches forward, taking Jaehyun’s drink again. It’s stupid, the way watching Yuta take another sip of his drink causes Jaehyun’s mind to melt but then again, he supposes he should be used to Yuta’s small actions causing ripples of affections to overwhelm his lovesick heart. It’s like the rest of the world disappears for a brief moment, and all Jaehyun can see is Yuta and the gleam in his eyes and the way his hair falls haphazardly into them. He fights the urge to reach forward and tuck the dark strands behind Yuta’s ear.

“Fine,” Jaehyun manages to say, “we can share.”

Yuta beams.

Across from them, Johnny clears his throat.

Yuta turns away from Jaehyun, focusing his attention on their friends and just like that, the world comes back into Jaehyun’s view.

“Since you’re here,” Taeyong says, carefully breaking off a piece of his banana loaf, “we’re going clubbing on Friday. I was gonna text you, but...” He shrugs as he trails off, popping the loaf into his mouth.

“Sicheng, Ten and Ten’s new boyfriend are coming, too.” Johnny pipes up, “it would be the six of us since Jaehyun is committed to his celibacy, apparently.”

Yuta’s laugh mingles with Taeyong’s and Jaehyun rolls his eyes, sending a halfhearted glare in Johnny’s direction. He swirls his drink in his hand, trying not to look too invested in Yuta’s answer.

“First of all,” Yuta raises an eyebrow, “when did Tennie find a boyfriend?”

“His name is Kun and I’m pretty sure he’s the most normal person Ten has ever dated.” Taeyong says.

Johnny snorts, “probably a freak in bed.”

Yuta laughs again, brighter and louder than Taeyong’s giggle. Jaehyun hums in agreement.

“So?” Taeyong leans forward just slightly, “are you in?”

“I would love to, trust me, I need a night out.” Yuta sighs, “but I have the photography studio booked for Saturday morning and I need to prepare a fuck load of shit the night before.”

Yuta turns back to Jaehyun, “speaking of which, _Jaehyunnie,_ I need a model for my shoot.”

Yuta bats his eyelashes a few times for the theatrics of it all, reaching forward to thread their fingers together. His hand is warm in contrast to the jarring cold of Jaehyun’s icy fingers from holding his iced latte.

Jaehyun feels his throat constrict.

Before he can reply, Johnny speaks up.

“I’m offended you didn’t ask me first, Nakamoto.” He mocks hurt, resting one hand over his heart.

Regretfully, Yuta lets Jaehyun’s hand drop, rolling his eyes playfully.

“As if you would even be able to make it to the studio on time, Suh.” He retorts.

“Johnny’s never late and he’s certainly hot enough to model for a shoot.” Taeyong interrupts, crossing his arms over his chest.

Yuta laughs at that, “maybe to _you,_ dude, one time Johnny missed an exam by three fucking hours,” he says and turns back to Jaehyun, “and besides, Jaehyun’s perfect _and_ he won’t be three hours late.”

“It’s like worth half of my grade, Lee, and if you think I’m putting half of my grade on the line just to stroke your boyfriend’s ego by taking a few pictures of him, then you are sorely mistaken.” He says, plastering a sweet smile on his face.

Taeyong huffs and Johnny cracks a grin, petting Taeyong’s cheek as he coos something about how cute it was of Taeyong to defend his honour.

Yuta’s hand finds his knee and the familiar feeling of the world disappearing behind Jaehyun comes back, everything else white noise except for Yuta’s words. His tone shifts, a subtle change from his mocking tone into something softer, something Jaehyun has grown to notice and judging by the way Yuta doesn’t wait for the others to turn their attention to him, Jaehyun knows that Yuta’s next words are meant only for him.

“I know Jaehyun won’t let me down.”

When he removes his hand, the world seems to flash back into view.

Yuta pulls out his phone, cursing when he sees the time.

“Take some shots in my honour,” he says solemnly to Taeyong, stealing a chunk of his banana loaf.

“You’re staying in to do work, not dying.” Taeyong snorts.

“Whatever, it might as well be the same thing,” Yuta replies with a lopsided smile as he stands.

“I’ll see you at home, yeah?” Yuta says when he turns to Jaehyun, waving goodbye before he beelines out of the coffee shop, taking Taeyong’s banana loaf and a part of Jaehyun’s heart with him.

—

Jaehyun barely manages to scrape through the rest of the week, the last of his misery dissipating on Friday as he hands in his essay about globalization and its effect on the steel economy into Professor Choi’s awaiting hands.

Free of all things related to the economy and steel and everything in between, Jaehyun finds himself gulping down his third shot of espresso much to the disgust of the barista in the coffee shop in a desperate attempt to keep himself awake—after he had stayed awake last night and the night before researching the economy and steel and everything in between—for his study session with Sicheng.

They’re not even in the same major but for some unknown, stupid reason, Sicheng decided to take an accounting course as one of his electives and promptly gave up on it after realizing just how hard it really is. And while Sicheng is a nerd, a full on geek with a love of math to match, the financial and business aspects of the course don’t quite stick with him and well, Jaehyun is nothing if not a good friend.

So they spend the next few hours skimming over Sicheng’s lecture notes and discussing a few practice questions before Sicheng finally bids him goodbye.

“Hey, thanks again for helping me out!” Sicheng says shyly, clutching his textbook in the crook of his arm.

“No problem, dude, thanks for the coffee.” Jaehyun smiles, waving goodbye to Sicheng with his half empty coffee cup. He doesn’t mention that this is his fourth of the day.

Sicheng laughs, “it was nothing, Jaehyun, the least I could do for taking up your Friday evening.”

Jaehyun resists the urge to pinch his friend’s cheeks as he waves goodbye, leaving Jaehyun alone in the library with only a guy passed out on the table across from him as company. The quiet environment of the library really has its effect on Jaehyun and he finds himself quickly working through several of the assignments he had planned to take care of over the weekend. He figures it can’t hurt to just get them over with right now so that the next two days can be spent pining over Yuta and his radiant smile and stopping fools with crowbars who think they can rob convenience stores without the added pressure of _homework_ , of all things, in the back of his mind.

Really, he isn’t sure if he should be embarrassed about how sad his weekend plans are.

Belatedly, he realizes that the rest of his friends are probably getting drunk off their asses at the club, having a good time drinking and partying while he’s hunched over his laptop in the library nursing the beginning of a headache and half heartedly researching the economic rise of deodorant.

The whole thing is rather pathetic so eventually, Jaehyun decides to pack up and go home.

It isn’t even that late, only half past midnight, when he sneaks in through their apartment door, but judging by the way only their hallway light is open, Jaehyun assumes Yuta is asleep. He pauses in the kitchen so he can peek into the fridge, almost groaning in relief when he sees a tupperware container filled with fried rice, still slightly warm to the touch.

He scarfs it down more messily than he would care to admit, though if anyone saw him eat, they’d easily be able to describe his eating style as being identical to that of a starving hyena who stumbled across a half eaten zebra carcass but it doesn’t matter because Yuta is asleep so there’s no one there to watch him make a fool of himself as he blindly eats in the dark.

Only after he’s polished off the rice and is hunting through the fridge for some mango juice does he realize that the only way the container would’ve been warm is if Yuta had been up in the past hour and had cooked it knowing Jaehyun would be coming home late.

Yuta never eats after eight in the evening, something about it being the time where his metabolic rate is at its peak and Jaehyun feels his stomach lurch in a not unpleasant, bubbly way.

It’s a stupid thing to think about and it’s definitely a stupid thing to get all choked up about but the thought of Yuta making food for Jaehyun before he went to sleep, food that he wasn’t even _planning_ on eating, makes Jaehyun’s chest swell up with dizzyingly warm and overwhelming love.

He tries to brush away any and all wisps of hope that have begun to take root inside his ribcage, reminding himself that _of course_ Yuta loves him, they’re best friends and Jaehyun, if he could cook, would do the same for him.

He shuffles down the hallway, carefully stepping over the stacks of photography equipment and Yuta’s backpack against the wall, stopping quickly in the bathroom to brush his teeth before he enters the bedroom, careful not to make any noise. Jaehyun sheds his denim jacket, letting out a deep yawn before he pauses beside Yuta’s bed.

Yuta is asleep, one arm thrown over his head, his mouth parted slightly, his chest rising and falling evenly. He’s beautiful like this, the pale moonlight from their open window casting dark shadows beneath his eyelashes and his cheekbones, above the prominent curve of his cupid’s bow and his collarbones. Jaehyun fights the urge to brush the dark strands of hair that fall into Yuta’s forehead, unable to tear his eyes away from Yuta.

He shouldn’t and he knows it but when Yuta sighs in his sleep, shifting just slightly, Jaehyun finds himself dipping down, lips brushing just barely over the high point of his cheekbone. He pulls away in the next breath, his mouth tingling phantomly and he turns away from Yuta, quickling ridding himself of his jeans and shirt before he crawls into bed, his heart hammering wildly in his chest.

It takes him a while to fall asleep after that, which really is the most ridiculous thing because the exhaustion ran bone deep when he entered the apartment and all it took was giving Yuta kiss on the cheek to make all of that fly out of his body.

He falls asleep eventually after tossing and turning for a while, sometime after one in the morning and he jerks awake in the early hours of the morning to his alarm buzzing incessantly.

His first thought is about cursing out the dumb Jaehyun from last night who forgot to turn off his alarm and the thought right after is of Yuta and the photography studio Jaehyun has to be at in the next hour. With a groan, Jaehyun pushes himself out of bed, tossing his comforter to the side as he stands. Yuta is already gone, his bed poorly made and when Jaehyun steps into the hallway, he sees his equipment gone, too.

Yuta said the studio was near the university and so Jaehyun takes his time in the shower, savouring the fact that he _finally_ has some time to himself since Yuta, the object of his affections and the sole inhabitant of his spank bank, is not here. It’s pretty embarrassing how fast he comes, one hand tugging rather harshly on his dick, his thoughts clouded with Yuta in lip gloss and a studded choker, but he blames it on his general horniness and the fact that he hasn’t gotten laid in months.

The first thing he notices when he enters the kitchen is that breakfast has already been made for him, the sticky note Yuta left with his terrible handwriting that reads, _left early :) i made some eggs and toast for u they r in the microwave, dont be late jae!!!!!_

Jaehyun gives himself a moment to calm his racing heart, fighting the urge to drop on the kitchen floor clutching the note before he sighs deeply, snatching the plate out of the microwave, taking a single breath as he promptly devours it. It occurs to him that he might genuinely have starved to death some time in the past year if it weren’t for Yuta.

Satisfied and full, Jaehyun pours himself a glass of mango juice, flopping down on the couch in front of the TV. The news channel pops up and normally, Jaehyun would switch channels immediately if it weren’t for the headline.

**FIRE BREAKS OUT AT NEO TECH. AT LEAST SIX GUNMEN ARE INVOLVED.**

The news anchor continues on the story and Jaehyun listens carefully, dread swelling in the pit of his stomach.

_“A deadly fire has broken out at the New York branch of Neo Tech, an up and coming technological firm. Authorities believe that the fire was started by the gunmen who are currently holding at least four people, one of them being the vice president of Neo Tech, hostage.”_

His mind briefly stops on Yuta, of the open and honest trust in his eyes and then back to the hostage situation. It’s an easy decision to make, but it’s alarming how his mind, for a brief second, focuses on Yuta instead of the people who need his help. The thought is gone just as quickly as it came and Jaehyun ducks back into the bedroom, yanking his suit out from beneath his bed, giving himself a brief moment to suit up before he aims his web shooter out of the bedroom window, swinging into the sharp morning air.

The Neo Tech building is located in Tribeca, somewhere along Kings St, or so his map app tells him. It’s hard to follow a GPS while you’re swinging through the air and there are several encounters when he finds himself shrieking in surprise as he almost face plants into a brick wall.

Even as he shoots the webs as fast as he can, it still takes him some time before he makes it to Tribeca, a lump forming at the base of his throat when he sees the thick, heavy grey clouds of smoke swirling in the air above the other buildings. His inhuman senses are working into overdrive and Jaehyun can feel each individual goosebumps appear on his arms and the back of his neck as his body warns him of the imminent danger.

Sure enough, the upper floors of the building are ablaze, large, angry flames licking at the structure of the building. Thick tendrils of smoke billow from the source of the fire and as Jaehyun swings around the perimeter of the building, keeping a safe distance as he assesses the situation.

He doesn’t even think about disarming the gunmen; the fire is rapidly gaining strength and the smoke is making it hard to get any closer to the building without his vision blurring, so Jaehyun figures as long as he can get the hostages out, then the police can take care of everything else.

From the corner of his eye, Jaehyun sees the firefighting helicopter in the air and he sighs in relief, swinging up to the roof of the building he’s currently on, jogging backwards just slightly so that he’s able to run towards the ledge and gain momentum for his swing.

The air around the building is thick and Jaehyun almost misses his aim at the glass panels midair as the force from the fire causes them to explode outwards. Gusts of hot, humid air blast out, scorching Jaehyun through his mask. For a brief second, he falls.

“Fuck!”

Over the deafening crackle of the fire, Jaehyun’s sure no one can hear him as he grunts, ducking his head to narrowly avoid missing the onslaught of shards of glass, barely managing to aim his web shooter clumsily towards the right side of the building where the fire hasn’t reached.

His eyes widen and he shouts, “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

His webbing sticks and Jaehyun inhales sharply, pulling himself forward.

Jaehyun squeezes his eyes shut, letting the momentum from his swing carry his body forward as he hits the glass. It shatters and only when he lands not so gracefully next to an abandoned office desk, does Jaehyun realize exactly what kind of situation he’s found himself in.

He’s no superhero, he _knows_ that, he’s a twenty year old who happened to choose the wrong scientific lab to do his business internship at. His suit is made from Halloween costumes he repurposed from the thrift store and all Jaehyun can focus on is how dangerously out of his depth he is. Time is not on his side but still, he gives himself a moment to think, forcing his mind to slow down as he reassesses his situation. There are at least six gunmen somewhere in this building and the only thing between his body and their bullets is his flimsy, spandex suit. His mask is just a mask, it’s only purpose being to protect his identity but other than that, it offers him no protection from the smoke.

Suddenly, Jaehyun wishes he didn’t stop to think because no matter how he twists it, the conclusion is always the same; he’s going to attempt to free four people from armed gunmen by himself, with no protection against their bullets or the fire that rages around him.

The thought of it alone is enough to make his heart beat rapidly and make his throat tighten but he can’t go back, not now, not when he’s already inside.

He takes a deep breath.

—

He wakes up abruptly.

Jaehyun’s first instinct is to jerk up and into a sitting position but the second his eyes open, a terrible, deep ache settles into his body so he forces himself to stay still. With his eyes trained on the ceiling, Jaehyun realizes that he’s at home, on his bed in the room he shares with Yuta.

Every inch of his body hurts and certain places, like his left arm and his torso seem to hurt more, sharp, vibrant bolts of pain washing over him in waves with every slight movement. Finally, Jaehyun sits up slowly, a sharp gasp choking inside his throat at the pain. His mask is on the floor, as if it were thrown haphazardly and the top of his suit has been cut through jaggedly, leaving him bare chested. There are bandages wrapped clumsily around his torso and a small spot of red has bled through the white. He can count several bruises, already yellowing, thanks to his body healing itself from the inside, though it doesn’t diminish the pain.

For several moments, his memory remains foggy.

And then, all at once, it comes back to him.

The building on fire, the armed gunmen. The four terrified people locked in a photocopy room. His inhuman senses had been of some help in finding the hostages, though getting them out had been the challenge.

_“They’re checking the lower floors for police and more hostages.” The woman with the tear stained cheeks says._

_Her hand shakes as Jaehyun helps her up, using his other hand to help the elderly janitor stand._

_Her words give Jaehyun a sliver of hope that he might have enough time to get these people out of the burning building. The east side of the building isn’t immune to the flames that are licking their way through the doors and he knows that the fire will soon spread to where they are. The woman is thin and the janitor is old so Jaehyun knows he’ll be able to get them both out at once. The tall, young man with the deep frown and wire rimmed glasses and the vice president of Neo Tech, Jaehyun knows he can’t carry them through the air together._

_“I’ll come back for you,” he promises._

_The young man nods weakly, his gaze shifting to the carpeted floor. Jaehyun sees the beginning of a bruise begin to blossom on his cheekbone. The older man with deep set eyes and salt and pepper hair only smiles tiredly._

_“Get going now, will you?” He says warily._

_Jaehyun nods._

_The elderly janitor walks slowly but thankfully, within a few minutes, they’re standing in front of the shattered glass and the large gaping hole in the glass panelling from which Jaehyun entered._

_“Just hold on tight,” he murmurs, letting the woman loop her arms around his neck. She’ll be able to keep herself from falling so Jaehyun focuses on the janitor, curling one arm around his torso, the other just beneath the woman’s rib cage so he can access his web shooters._

_His target is the rooftop of the building across the street. It’s not as tall as the Neo Tech building so they’d essentially be falling, but that means less resistance against the air, especially helpful since he’s carrying two times the weight down with him._

_“Don’t let go, no matter what.” He says firmly._

_The woman nods, her arms just barely tightening around Jaehyun’s neck._

_Jaehyun aims his right web shooter towards his target, giving it a split second head start before they jump._

_The landing is rocky, they stumble from the force, but Jaehyun keeps his arm tight around the elderly man, waiting several seconds to make sure both of them are okay before he aims his web shooter back up towards the east side of the Neo Tech building, letting himself be pulled through the air, his inhuman senses blaring alarms in the back of his mind as he flies back into danger._

_After he gets the vice president out, Jaehyun’s troubles begin._

_One of the gunmen spots him and the young man—who had dazedly let Jaehyun know that his name was Mingyu—by Jaehyun’s exit. He alerts the others immediately with a quick shout, though he opts to slowly circle Jaehyun and Mingyu instead of shooting immediately._

_“Just wait here,” Jaehyun murmurs when Mingyu clutches his arm tightly, the fear and anxiety written clearly on his features._

_“Jump when I tell you to, Mingyu,” and then in what he hopes is a comforting tone, “I’ll catch you.” He promises._

_He’s not sure he’ll be able to, but he has no other chance._

_There’s another gunman now and when he sees Jaehyun, he laughs, loud and irritable._

_“Hey it’s the Spider guy!” He laughs again, a little harsher this time, “bitch thinks he can get away with our hostage trying to play superhero!”_

He hadn’t been able to dodge their punches and kicks and he’s still feeling the effects of them now. They’d been forceful in their assault and normally, Jaehyun would manage to get away quickly, except now he had Mingyu to think of.

So he let it happen, tried not to wince beneath the mask as a combat boot made direct contact with the soft flesh above his ribcage. Only when he saw the dark, ashen smoke begin to swirl through the air, did he attempt to fight back, catching one of the gunmen square on the jaw as a distraction.

“Mingyu, jump!”

Mingyu was frozen for a split second, a split second too long and Jaehyun felt the sharp, violent pain blossom beneath his jaw as a fist made contact with it. Finally, Mingyu squeezed his eyes shut and jumped.

Jaehyun knew he was hurtling through the air, then, and only he could catch him so he tore himself away from the tight grip one of the gunmen had on his arm and jumped after him. Adrenaline had coursed like electricity through veins, leaving sparks at his fingertips and though he’d heard several gunshots behind him, he didn’t stop to think.

With one web shooter aimed at Mingyu’s back, the other at the target building, Jaehyun lets the webbing shoot, managing to swing Mingyu into his side, wrapping one arm tightly around his torso.

They’d stumbled on their landing but other than that, everything was okay. The other three were still there, huddled together and Mingyu glanced towards them briefly before he turned back to Jaehyun, eyes widening.

“You…” He whispered, hand rising to point to Jaehyun’s side, where pain had begun to settle.

Jaehyun didn’t say anything, one hand pressing over the wound with a pained groan. He knew.

He tried his best not to focus on the dizzying pain that had begun to nestle its way into his body and fired several shots of webbing down towards where the police cars and firetrucks are circling the Neo Tech Building to catch their attention. Once he was sure that the hostages would be found, Jaehyun aimed his web shooter towards the next building, towards _home,_ ignoring the way his body protests against the movements.

It became blurry after that, even as his body tried healing itself, he’d already lost a lot of blood and it was becoming harder and harder to keep himself focused on getting home.

Jaehyun remembers hurtling through the bedroom window of his apartment, his breaths coming hard and heavy, his vision swimming. He remembers the overwhelming pain and ache and he remembers being unable to keep his eyes open. He remembers stumbling towards his bed unable to make it there, the muscles of his abdomen twitching with every wave of pain. He’s glad it’s over.

A quiet voice startles him out of his thoughts.

“You’re awake.”

It’s Yuta, holding a bottle of painkillers and a bottle of water. He looks exhausted, like how he always looks after staying awake the whole night writing an essay last minute, though more troubled. It doesn’t take a genius to guess why. Yuta sits down carefully beside him, putting everything the pill bottle and water on the floor.

For several moments, he doesn’t speak.

Jaehyun knows how it must look to Yuta; his best friend wearing the Spider-Man costume, covered in his own blood, passed out on the floor.

He swallows.

Yuta licks his lips, “I found you,” he says finally, “by the window.” He lifts a finger to the window by his bed. It trembles.

“You scared the shit out of me,” Yuta’s hand hesitates just barely before he cups Jaehyun’s jaw, thumb smoothing over the nearly healed bruise right beneath his jaw.

Jaehyun’s heartbeat picks up just barely.

Lifting his own arm feels like a challenge but he does, resting his scraped hand over Yuta’s, “I’m sorry,” he murmurs even though he’s the one in bed, unable to move.

Yuta shrugs, “you know, I was so fucking pissed when you didn’t show up at the studio this morning. I thought you had slept in or whatever but I didn’t think you were in danger,” he pauses for a moment, shifting his gaze away from Jaehyun’s, “I was planning on chewing your ass out when I got home since I had to call Johnny in to model for me and Johnny kept getting distracted by Taeyong, who came with him to gloat.”

“But when—when I got home and you weren’t—” Yuta struggles for a moment, “and then I came to our room and you... you were on the floor, and you weren’t moving and—” He swallows thickly and Jaehyun follows the movement of his Adam’s Apple.

 _I know,_ he wants to say, _I know._

Yuta sighs, “I didn’t know that you were Spider-Man.”

Jaehyun tries to sit up straighter, sucking in a shaky breath when the movements agitate his wound, “I wasn’t exactly advertising it, Yuta.” He smiles a little in hopes of easing the tension, relief flooding his chest when Yuta mirrors it with his own small, lopsided smile.

“But you’re terrible at keeping secrets, Jung.”

He wants to laugh, _being Spider-Man,_ he thinks, _is only my second most precious secret._

“Are you feeling okay?” Yuta asks, shifting his cool hand away from Jaehyun’s cheek, the teasing tone in his voice replaced with soft concern.

Jaehyun nods. His body is rapidly healing itself and thanks to Yuta patching him up, the process is going faster than it usually would. If he rests enough, he’ll be up in a day.

“I had to search up how to remove bullets,” Yuta laughs a little but it’s forced, “I nearly pissed myself trying to, my hand wouldn’t stop shaking.”

He looks up, his careful gaze meeting Jaehyun’s just briefly. He’s still handsome, even if his dark hair is deeply mussed, his mouth curled down into a slight frown, his tattered sweatshirt hanging off his right shoulder, revealing the barest hint of his honeyed collarbones.

Yuta arranges his hands in his lap, pulling his sleeves down over them, his gaze trained on his lap. Silence fills the space between them, thick and heavy. Yuta doesn’t look up.

“I thought you were going to die, Jaehyun.”

Yuta rarely cries and Jaehyun has figured that out about his best friend over the years he’s known him. It’s not like he’s not intune with his own emotions—Jaehyun's been a witness to all the times Yuta has been _quite_ emotional—Yuta just never cries. The way his voice cracks just barely though, makes Jaehyun think that he might. His heart sinks.

Jaehyun wishes that he could heal Yuta, too.

For a moment, he lets Yuta be. Pretends he can’t see the way Yuta’s shoulders shake and the way he muffles his sobs in the sleeve of his sweatshirt. And then he thinks, _this is Yuta,_ the one he loves, the one he swore he would protect from tears like these. This is Yuta and he shouldn’t cry, especially over Jaehyun. So he sits up a little more, ignoring the pulsing pain in his wound and raises one arm, hand coming to rest on the back of Yuta’s neck.

“Are you crying?” His tone is gentle and teasing as a way to relieve the uneasiness that’s settled in the air, even if he feels like his insides are melting.

Yuta sniffs and then sucks in a sharp breath, looking up. Tears stain his cheeks and he wipes them away clumsily with the back of his hand.

Yuta clears his throat but his voice is wet, “I thought I lost you, Jaehyun, of course I’m crying, you idiot, I—I love you.”

Jaehyun’s heartbeat rings in his ears.

Yuta sniffs again, “I know your biggest secret, Jaehyun, so you might as well know mine.” He cracks a mild smile, “I love you, Spider-Dork, and not in the friend way.” Yuta’s words are even, casual, but when Jaehyun’s eyes flicker to his, he can see the bare vulnerability and nervousness in them.

“Believe me,” he laughs a little, “I would’ve taken that to the grave with me if I didn’t watch your ass almost die today. Feel free to laugh at how much of a cliche I am for falling in love with my best friend.”

Yuta’s smile shrinks a little at Jaehyun’s unresponsiveness and he looks away shyly. Jaehyun’s never seen Yuta like this, open and honest and _shy._ Long, dark wisps of hair fall into his eyes. Jaehyun resists the urge to push them behind his ear.

His mind seems to have slowed down a little, his thoughts moving thickly, as if they’re caught in jelly, unable to comprehend the words Yuta has just spoken. Unable to comprehend the fact that Yuta loves him. Loves him back.

“I know you just woke up,” Yuta’s words stumble out of his mouth, clumsy, “don’t worry about me right now, just get some rest.” He shifts, as if to stand and Jaehyun catches his wrist before he can.

“Yuta,” his voice is hoarse and he maneuvers Yuta’s wrist just barely, threading their fingers together, “you don’t know my biggest secret.”

Yuta’s gaze is careful, hesitant.

“I love you, too, Nakamoto,” the words feel like air, like a breeze flowing from his throat, leaving his heart lighter as they exit his mouth. He pulls Yuta closer by the hand. Dark hair falls into his open, honest eyes. Jaehyun reaches forward, carefully tucking them behind Yuta's ear. Yuta lets him. “And not in the friend way, either.”

He can breathe again.

Yuta smiles, something soft and tender and _lovely_ and Jaehyun wishes he could capture the way his eyes glisten, though this time, it’s not from tears. He tilts his head forward just barely, his other hand coming to rest gently on Jaehyun’s jaw.

“Can I—Jaehyun, can I—”

“Yeah,” he breathes and when Yuta smiles again, a little brighter and wider, his heart soars, warmth filling the cavity in his ribcage that’s been empty for so long. “Yeah.”

Their mouths meet somewhere in the middle, soft and wet, salty from Yuta’s tears and so, _so_ warm. Jaehyun lets one hand sit idly on Yuta’s hip, pulling him just a fraction closer. There are no fireworks, nothing exploding, no sparks. Only warmth and the sheer love and adoration that’s been living inside Jaehyun for so long finally coming out. Yuta shifts, his mouth briefly disconnecting from Jaehyun’s as he sits up on his knees, throwing his arms around Jaehyun’s neck. He’s no stranger to having Yuta’s arms around his neck; it’s the only way Yuta is capable of hugging, apparently, but in this context, it feels different. It feels better.

It feels like the first time Yuta had fallen asleep on him after coming home drunk. It feels like the way Yuta had giggled in the column of Jaehyun’s throat, unwilling to let Jaehyun go so he could grab Yuta a glass of water. It feels like all the times Yuta had sought him out after a hard day, choosing Jaehyun for comfort, choosing Jaehyun to soothe his sorrows away.

It feels like coming home and Yuta, Jaehyun supposes, has always been his home, in the way he’s come to recognize what home is. In the way Jaehyun remembers Yuta cooking meals for them, forcing Jaehyun to come into the kitchen to taste the food or in the way he’s insufferable, smiling sweetly at Jaehyun as a way to get Jaehyun to light his candles for him, since Yuta’s always been a little fearful of an open flame.

When they pull away, Yuta sighs deeply, leaning in once more to kiss the corner of Jaehyun’s mouth, one hand sliding down to smooth over Jaehyun’s bare shoulder. Jaehyun shivers. Yuta’s careful as he helps Jaehyun lay back down, fussing over his bandages for a moment before he curls up against him, his head resting on Jaehyun’s bare chest.

“Is this…” Yuta falters for a moment, his voice reserved and quiet and so uncharacteristic of him, “is this okay?”

Yuta smells of his coconut shampoo mixed with the smell of the vanilla candles that he’s always burning and the cheap cologne he refuses to stop buying. He smells of home. They’ve been in positions like this a million times before, though it never meant what it means now. They had always toed the thin line that sat heavy between their friendship and something more and now, it doesn’t exist. Yuta is his best friend, the one whom he _adores_ and the one whom he _loves._ Yuta is his.

“Yeah,” Jaehyun exhales, “it’s okay.”

Yuta raises his head slightly and beams, and Jaehyun wishes he could stop time, if only to memorize the way Yuta looks, the way his weight lies comfortably beside him. He wonders if Yuta can hear the beat of his heart.

He hopes he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i moved twt so make sure to check out my new twt and cc since i do talk a lot about any upcoming fics and updates there!


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